Leave me my Now

Go away, Oh, go away
You Doomsday Prophet

I don’t wanta know
Don’t wanta know
Of a no-tomorrow

Take away, take away
your doomsday prophecies
Of blazing sun, ragin’ storms
And the rise of the seas

I wanna eat, wanna play
I wanna have my fun
Wanna fly and wanna drive
Like I always done ….

I wanna live, wanna live
Like my forefathers did
Don’t wanna hear your gloomy words
That blow off the lid

So go away, go away
You Doomsday Prophet
Take away, oh take away
your doomsday prophecies …..
Of blazing sun, ragin’ storms
And the rise of the seas

So go away …. go away
Take away … take away …

Praxis, not just Change

Change can come about only when the individual changes ... we have heard this so many times. Until one changes from inside, change cannot happen outside. Be the Change. The only person I can change is myself.

All this seems powerful. But is individual change enough? I have been ruminating on this..

It will be enough only when everyone changes. Or there have to be a sufficient number of changes to tip the balance in favour of the larger good. And in the meantime, while the everyone-is-changing is happening? What happens then?

I must give a context to all this. The ruminations came about when I read about President Obama was all for postponing the commitments to emit less to next time... The U.S. has been the only BIG player refusing to play ball in the field of Climate Change. And now Obama, the pre-mature Nobel winner, has said this... another cop out.

So in contexts similar to these (never mind whether it is global or local), when you have a few number of BIG guys refusing to change, would individual change be enough? It would definitely matter, but would it be enough?

I am beginning to feel, it is not enough to just "see" for oneself, and change for oneself. It is also necessary to be political about it. One has to also relate with the external. To object to what is harming others. To voice one's opinion, expectation. To come out in support of positive action. To act. Take a stand. Without this, personal change is meaningless. One can achieve personal nirvana, but beyond that its not of much use.

I can change as much as I want. I can recycle my throw-away stuff. I can conserve water. I can change-over to LEDs and CFLs. I can walk to work. I can change-over to less-harmful cosmetics .... But you just need one guy to go about in a 8-gallon per mile, oil guzzling tank-of-a-car. One guy who grabs more than his share of resources. One guy who refuses to change. One guy who believes that he is above accountability.

Only "seeing". Only "doing". Reflection without Action. Action without Reflection. By themselves are ineffective. Internally as well as externally. There also has to be a healthy interaction between the internal and external. "Seeing" within, and bringing the learnings to the outside. Act, not only in one's personal life, but also in one's World.

Praxis, not just Change, is the key - the never ending cycle of action - reflection - action. Applied Knowledge. Practising Learnings.

Change, after all, is personal. While Praxis is political.

Freedom

We take freedom so much for granted. We are free to move around, free to buy anything we want, free to interact with anyone we want ... basically just free to live a reasonably decent life.

What must freedom mean to a woman in the burqa or the ghunghat who cannot speak to half the population? Or people in a authoritarian state who cannot congregate, meet or interact with others?

The thoughts came to mind when I met Bablu, a young Human Rights activist from Manipur. His introduction of himself started with his name, his organisation and straight away slipped into the story of Irom Sharmila, a poet and activist who has been on a hunger strike for the last 10 years against the excesses of the Indian Special Forces in the North East. The meaning of freedom changes completely when one hears about her.

What makes an Irom Sharmila do what she does? What drives one into such passion of resistance to injustice? Three cheers to Sharmila ... may her fight continue and end in success. Read about her ...

Fragrance of Peace
When life comes to its end
You, please transport
My lifeless body
Place it on the soil of Father Koubru
To reduce my dead body
To cinders amidst the flames
Chopping it with axe and spade
Fills my mind with revulsion
The outer cover is sure to dry out
Let it rot under the ground
Let it be of some use to future generations
Let it transform into ore in the mine
I'll spread the fragrance of peace
From Kanglei, my birthplace
In the ages to come
It will spread all over the world.

-lrom Sharmila

Envy

Envy, according to the Bible is an evil that leads to quarrels, fights, disorder, and “every vile practice”. Perhaps so. Especially when it is not kept in its due place and is allowed to take over one self.

There is such fear of feeling envy. Since childhood we are taught not to feel 'envy' and 'jealousy'... given hues and colours of the worst evil, that innocent longings for something another has gets buried and twisted into unacceptable feelings.

Why is it so difficult to accept that one feels envy? That one (also) wants something another has ? My readings and research on many issues frequently visits me to the comforts of the Western countries. And I do find myself feeling envy - for streets which one can walk on, not filled with garbage, filth and what not, for well-kept parks and public spaces, for something as simple as being able to cross the road without fear of being run-over, for psychological spaces to be able to express artistic talents... Yes, I do feel I want those things to. Just to be able to live in a non-stressful environment.

I used to push away these feelings and convince myself with arguments about how unhappy people are in the West. About lack of community bonding. About living in a manicured and un-real world.

I have felt envy when I have met people or read their writings, who are thinkers and can imagine and articulate. I find myself wanting to be able to think like them, have a mind that is vast and is able to make connection. To be able to envision. Or great artistes, musicians who can make powerful music that moves the soul, artworks that lunge into one's psyche.

Yes, along with my admiration and awe, I have felt twinges of envy ... of wanting to able to do such things. Somewhere I have felt that to be able to express oneself in such a manner requires powerful feelings inside.

What I find now is something very releasing for me. My very acceptance and acknowledgement of my feelings of envy, removed the 'evil' that I believed it had. I find envy an interesting emotion now. I find it puts me in touch with my sense of deprivation. It allows me to feel feelings of "want". It allows me to get in touch with areas where I feel poor or needy. Somehow, this envy fills blank areas inside me which otherwise were not explainable.

If we just allow the label of "evil" and "bad" to fall away from envy (and other such emotions), we can allow ourselves to become 'better' people. Freer. Less hapless. More comfortable. Easier with oneself.

Lessons from the Testimonials of Communities

Lesson - 1

When I heard the testimonials from a variety of people from a variety of marginalized communities, I felt a certain ire at the so-called God. I thought to myself and questioned the eminent entity "are they not your children too ...?". They did seem either to be the neglected children who did not cry or charm enough or alternatively they seemed to be the children of a lesser God - less powerful, more helpless, more like them.

Until my perspective underwent a change. I learnt something from one of the women who came from Chitrakoot. She said "god is hurting us because we have hurt God. we have cut down the forests, polluted the streams and rivers, dug up the earth - uncaringly for our selfish purposes. We have hurt God again and again. So naturally he is angry.". And in that lay their deeper understanding of the dynamics of give and take with the forces of nature. In that lay their acceptance of what is happening to them, in that lay their fortitute and forbearance.

Soul Games

they were woken from slumber deep
“the game for next level starts … !”

“give words their voice so the soul can sing”
his job card said
“and follow the soul-songs
and …don’t fear the fire”
his instructions read
a baton of Faith was handed him

“ignite the soul so it can dream”,
her job card said
“use your soul-song …”
and oh ! you may have to wait”
her instructions said
a Flame of Dream-Fire was handed her

“how will i know who they are…?”
“what if i don’t find the doors ?”
“and if they don’t hear my voice?”
“how long will this take…?”
the questions poured out…

“you will know by your mistakes”
the amused Smile said
“and take Millenia, if necessary…”

“your time starts now … !”

will the job be done?
will the souls be freed?
to sail once more
the Eternal sea?
that my friend
is the Wild Card where
Free Will-y comes in to play

Pratyaya Amrit
1991 batch IAS officer, Chairman, Bihar Rajya Pul Nirman Nigam, takes action in rebuilding Bihar's bridges.

"Good contractors stuck to us as they saw a great opportunity. I met each contractor to review the work on a regular basis. We blacklisted as many as 40 contractors and debarred 84 contractors for not completing the work in time. Fines of Rs.4.5 crores were collected from contractors. That created a certain work culture and discipline ..."